Friday, February 20

Change of Directions

College life has changed. People around have changed. Perspectives have changed. Things have changed. Overall, life has changed lately.

If you look at the college life last year, and especially at the start of semester, and you look at it now, it's like a whole new world. Well not really, but certainly the way of how things go there has changed.

Unlike the start of semester, whereby everyone was excited and new, nowadays people around me has segregated into different groups of friends. I can literally point out 3 main groups of friends in my class, albeit all of us are still friends.

For me, I'm considered as part of 1 of the group, though I'm not strongly attached to them.
I think I'm more of a versatile type, and I'm happy to be one.

Gosh. Whenever I think about May, that would mean the crucial AS exam.

Chemistry? I know I can succeed IF I put arduous effort in it. But my results so far are relatively poor. This subject is in fact my favourite subject during SPM years, definately. And believe it or not, I'm quite dissapointed with the SPM Chemistry questions because I feel the amount of effort I put in in this particular subject is by far too excessive. It's like everyone score A1, you know? But now I'm facing a tough time dealing with AS Chemistry. Probably it is fair for you to say that I'm being complacent. But I know I'm capable of doing well for Chemistry.

Physics? I'm liking this subject more and more now. Although the questions are tough and requires alot of thinking, in which I'm not really good at answering the questions, but i just love the concepts of Physics. Sometimes, when you relate Physics to your life, you might find that this subject is interesting and at times, beautiful.

General Paper? Alot more work needed to be done. Although I'm confident enough to say that it's unlikely to fail this subject, I feel getting an A or even a B for GP is enormously challenging. I don't set high sights for it though, as a B or C will do nice =).

Maths? I don't even wanna mention it, to be honest. I would've seriously drop it IF and only IF I'm viable to do so. It's like I'm really giving up on it, you know? Mentally fed up, exausted, and NO interest in it AT ALL in this subject. I would've gladly substitute it with Biology, I don't mind.

It's better to be like, say, you give me a paragraph today of 20 pages and ask me to go home and memorize it. And then, tomorrow you ask me any types of questions based on the paper without me having it. I feel even Sejarah is so much better than Maths, you know?

I feel I need inspiration to do this exam, which is in a drought state at the moment. I feel quite fed up of all these. And yes, I made my decision NOT to do engineering. It's really a bad idea venturing into my weakest and darkest patch of myself, which is calculations.

Not like I'm skipping classes and all. I never skip Chemistry and Physics classes, unless I have no choice. They are my priorities, and I never lose interest in them. I want to do well for these 2 subjects, no doubt bout that.

I feel I just need some kind of push or some encouragement from certain people. I'm sorry, but I guess I have to rule out my family on doing that, because they are too busy with their own work. I guess I'm just missing that "someone" in life, if you know what I mean.

...But, to be honest, nothing but void is detected in the radar, yet.

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