Monday, December 14


If you’re reading this, by any chance, I’m really surprised and congratulations cause you’ll be one of the super rare visitors here after I feel like I abandoned this place for decades already…

Lots of things happened….I don’t even know when and where should I start…let’s just put it this way; a mixture of shock, happiness, disappointment, and virtually anything else…. THAT’s what happened from a year ago.

Personally, I prefer to blog about feelings and “inner events” rather than what I do everyday and stuffs…it’s like I’m not exactly reporting what I do everyday nor any events I attend….and that’s rather consistent with the concept of this blog.

So, instead of blogging about what I did some time go, I’ll rather describe what I FELT months ago.

Let’s just start with……say, where I stopped – AS exam. You may think I could be the type that study hard at home and all, but I can sincerely tell you that’s so wrong. In fact, at times I think AS exam is one of the lowest priority in my life…the fact that I lacked motivation for it, and I don’t exactly see a point why am I doing science when I’m horrid in Maths…so let’s just put that aside, and let the oncoming results finish the job.

Moving on from Exams and college, I found a job at a…say, a coffee shop serving >RM10 for a cup of coffee.

And what happened there, reignites a feeling that has lost in me years ago.

And just when it started to spark…

It’s diminished again.

What’s left is the feeling of missing someone in which I’ve lost years ago….

The news of her having to leave came to a trebling shocker really…unexpcted, and totally out of the script... it’s like just when I started to grow fond of her, BAM! this gotta happen…

I have to admit that I was emotionally affected after she left…more careless, more volatile and the latter caused a commotion in which ended up I’ve gotta leave the workplace as well… although deep down, I AM rather happy and feel contend working there…but I feel all these are meant to happen. It’s like everything has lined up and when it comes together, it can’t be stopped.

And so this is where I am, in this situation. For now I just want to forget her and everything happened there, and I just want to celebrate this Christmas and New Year celebrations…till then, happy holidays.

Friday, June 12

Akon's "Freedom" Beach Concert

Okay I know I abandoned this thing for quite some time already. The reason why there's so little update is that...

1. AS exam.
2. No mood.
3. Nothing to write, because I prefer to blog feelings rather than event, therefore when thing's are not happening, I got nothing to write. I don't like to write stuffs like "today me, fren1, fren2, fren3, and fren4 went to have lunch at XXX together!" kinda stuff because I feel it's quite pointless.

Anyway, in terms of what's happening is that, AS exam is over! and MORE importantly, AKON is coming to Sunway next month!

Okay I know most of you will be like "errr...Akon? Spend RM88 for his concert? Eh gtg bye" cuz most of you are from TARC who prefer alot more to Wang Lee Hom's concert than his (DUH).

Probably if I give you free tickets for Akon's concert also you all won't go. But I'm not a typical Chinese as I always say, and hell yeah I'm looking forward to partying at his concert!

It's gonna be a beach concert at Sunway Lagoon, and I'm sure it's gonna be hell lot of fun!

Saturday, May 9


1 year gone. 1 year since I started A levels. And it just feels like yesterday.

In this post I'm going to get things straight and to the point.

1. I got fed up. Fed up of dreaded controversy between people around me. Fed up of living with the constant reminder of mistake of taking A levels. Fed up with TAR College life. AS exam starts next week and I'm seriously NOT doing anything at all about Maths paper. Let's face it, I'll be screwed enough to do AS Maths. And if it goes on, I'll be screwed deeper in A2. I got out of jail in SPM, really. I'm already struggling for some form of motivation for Maths SPM, and what makes ME think I'll work multiple times harder to strive in A-levels?

2. I'm a person who hates stress. I know it's essentially unavoidable, but I always reduce it. It's like if I work hard, I'll play harder. There's a constant direct proportionality in the relationship between those two. I don't favour locking myself in the study table in a room and study the whole day, irrespectable it's AS exam tomorrow. I prefer turning the music on while doing things, or study while seeping coffee away in a coffeeshop. I mean, that's how I do things. This give you a pretty good idea about the type of person I am when facing something "stressful", because exam does not really mean stress to me. Albeit it does not work all the time. As such a lazy and irresponsible person you think I am judging from what I wrote, I know I can achieve things provided I have the motivation and interest. If I wanna do something I really want, then I'm 100% determined to do it.

3. I don't care anymore. Not about exams, but in terms of friends and stuffs. I don't want to get involved anymore. No more posts like the previous 1 after this, definately. 1 year passed and A levels is less than half a year away. How much can happen in that period? The "I know you but I don't really know you" kind of interaction between people just does not work. I can't please everyone. I believe in chemistry. The type of bond that can only be formed through time and consistent togetherness. Sometimes having just a few close friends- friends that were built through thick and thin together- friends that you can trust- at the end of the day, are still the best people around you.- People in which you feel most comfortable with. I'm just going to complete this AS exam for now- and God knows if I'm going to even sit for A2 exam.

The message is clear, and I know- I might experience backlash after this, especially from some of you after reading this post, but that's how the url name of this blog came from.

Wednesday, April 22

The Story So Far II

"It's a norm that 98% of the boys will go for typical, pretty girls with long smashing hair". Extracted from Cal.

Yes I gotta agree with that. I mean, who in this world does not like pretty people? It goes equally to both sexes. Well, even if the term "pretty" is removed from the sentence, which would go like "It's a norm that 98% of the boys will go for typical girls with long smashing hair", I personally would think it still makes sense.

Somehow, girls with long, straight hair, finished off with a touch of highlight are more appealing. Well, in the sense that they are more attractive and more sexually appealing. It also gives a more feminine impression. Of course these are what I personally think.

But it's not necessary for all guys to treat their gf as accessories. What I can say is that, not all guys are like that.

In the society nowadays, looks do play a major and important role. I don't think one can 100% deny that. I think those who don't accept that are those who can't face the harsh reality of life in these days. Its like when 2 secretaries go for a job interview with man boss, one who's slim and pretty and the other is not so good looking, I believe the boss would choose the former one, regardless her qualifications are not as good as the latter's. After all, he's going to face her everyday at work, right? I mean, the human brain sends positive feedbacks to the body when the eye catches beautiful things, don't you think so? It kinda provide impetus for us and that's what keep us going. Applied to me, at least.

Oh, talking about looks and GF and BF and relating them together, some, if not one group of people condemn what look like a dubbed "miss-matched" couple. The only reason, I think, why this happened to them, whom I think are very happy with each other, is that the overall difference of aesthetic values between them. Don't get me wrong, I don't do that, and I wouldn't.

In fact, if looked at a different perspective, I've gotta say that that girl is one of a kind, one who does not mind the outer appearance of her bf. She's a smart girl- she knows what she's doing, she's mentally strong and I believe she chose the one who has the best inner quality, qualities that people from the outside would not be able to see.

To a specific group;
Instead of critisizing others, why not just concentrate on your own affairs and leave them alone. We don't know what's so special about him, none of us in our region knows, but it's isn't fair to judge people based on what could only be seen from the outside. It's quite difficult to type all these because you guys are my friends, but so do the ones from the other side.

As I said before, and I'm saying it again, I would prefer to keep myself in the balance between people, I prefer to be a neutral party in any case. I'm not specifically attached to certain groups of friends, and that's how I want to be.

Friday, April 17


I hadn't have quite as good as a morning like today for quite a while already.

There's no better way to start the morning than seeing someone you adore, someone you admire, and you actually walked up to them and say hi and had a little chat.

A little goes a long way. It's been tough because it's difficult enough to find some time and space to do that.

The week hasn't been very good. I constantly feel anxious for no apparent reason, nervous for nothing and blur and blunt. But a Friday like this is totally a pivotal turning point since. It just kicked off a good weekend to come!

Well, if you wonder who that person is, it's the person I've mentioned in this post. But well, the difference when I wrote that then and now is that, I decided to try and have a go at her, provided I have the opportunities of course. Even if I have the slimmest chance, then why not?

As what T.I. rap in "No Matter What", he says:

"Every obstacle
Make impossible possible
Even when winnings illogical
Losing's still far from optional"