Re-Ignite

If you’re reading this, by any chance, I’m really surprised and congratulations cause you’ll be one of the super rare visitors here after I feel like I abandoned this place for decades already…

Lots of things happened….I don’t even know when and where should I start…let’s just put it this way; a mixture of shock, happiness, disappointment, and virtually anything else…. THAT’s what happened from a year ago.

Personally, I prefer to blog about feelings and “inner events” rather than what I do everyday and stuffs…it’s like I’m not exactly reporting what I do everyday nor any events I attend….and that’s rather consistent with the concept of this blog.

So, instead of blogging about what I did some time go, I’ll rather describe what I FELT months ago.

Let’s just start with……say, where I stopped – AS exam. You may think I could be the type that study hard at home and all, but I can sincerely tell you that’s so wrong. In fact, at times I think AS exam is one of the lowest priority in my life…the fact that I lacked motivation for it, and I don’t exactly see a point why am I doing science when I’m horrid in Maths…so let’s just put that aside, and let the oncoming results finish the job.

Moving on from Exams and college, I found a job at a…say, a coffee shop serving >RM10 for a cup of coffee.

And what happened there, reignites a feeling that has lost in me years ago.

And just when it started to spark…

It’s diminished again.

What’s left is the feeling of missing someone in which I’ve lost years ago….

The news of her having to leave came to a trebling shocker really…unexpcted, and totally out of the script... it’s like just when I started to grow fond of her, BAM! this gotta happen…

I have to admit that I was emotionally affected after she left…more careless, more volatile and the latter caused a commotion in which ended up I’ve gotta leave the workplace as well… although deep down, I AM rather happy and feel contend working there…but I feel all these are meant to happen. It’s like everything has lined up and when it comes together, it can’t be stopped.

And so this is where I am, in this situation. For now I just want to forget her and everything happened there, and I just want to celebrate this Christmas and New Year celebrations…till then, happy holidays.

Akon's "Freedom" Beach Concert

Okay I know I abandoned this thing for quite some time already. The reason why there's so little update is that...

1. AS exam.
2. No mood.
3. Nothing to write, because I prefer to blog feelings rather than event, therefore when thing's are not happening, I got nothing to write. I don't like to write stuffs like "today me, fren1, fren2, fren3, and fren4 went to have lunch at XXX together!" kinda stuff because I feel it's quite pointless.

Anyway, in terms of what's happening is that, AS exam is over! and MORE importantly, AKON is coming to Sunway next month!

Okay I know most of you will be like "errr...Akon? Spend RM88 for his concert? Eh gtg bye" cuz most of you are from TARC who prefer alot more to Wang Lee Hom's concert than his (DUH).

Probably if I give you free tickets for Akon's concert also you all won't go. But I'm not a typical Chinese as I always say, and hell yeah I'm looking forward to partying at his concert!

It's gonna be a beach concert at Sunway Lagoon, and I'm sure it's gonna be hell lot of fun!

Shootout

1 year gone. 1 year since I started A levels. And it just feels like yesterday.

In this post I'm going to get things straight and to the point.


1. I got fed up. Fed up of dreaded controversy between people around me. Fed up of living with the constant reminder of mistake of taking A levels. Fed up with TAR College life. AS exam starts next week and I'm seriously NOT doing anything at all about Maths paper. Let's face it, I'll be screwed enough to do AS Maths. And if it goes on, I'll be screwed deeper in A2. I got out of jail in SPM, really. I'm already struggling for some form of motivation for Maths SPM, and what makes ME think I'll work multiple times harder to strive in A-levels?



2. I'm a person who hates stress. I know it's essentially unavoidable, but I always reduce it. It's like if I work hard, I'll play harder. There's a constant direct proportionality in the relationship between those two. I don't favour locking myself in the study table in a room and study the whole day, irrespectable it's AS exam tomorrow. I prefer turning the music on while doing things, or study while seeping coffee away in a coffeeshop. I mean, that's how I do things. This give you a pretty good idea about the type of person I am when facing something "stressful", because exam does not really mean stress to me. Albeit it does not work all the time. As such a lazy and irresponsible person you think I am judging from what I wrote, I know I can achieve things provided I have the motivation and interest. If I wanna do something I really want, then I'm 100% determined to do it.

3. I don't care anymore. Not about exams, but in terms of friends and stuffs. I don't want to get involved anymore. No more posts like the previous 1 after this, definately. 1 year passed and A levels is less than half a year away. How much can happen in that period? The "I know you but I don't really know you" kind of interaction between people just does not work. I can't please everyone. I believe in chemistry. The type of bond that can only be formed through time and consistent togetherness. Sometimes having just a few close friends- friends that were built through thick and thin together- friends that you can trust- at the end of the day, are still the best people around you.- People in which you feel most comfortable with. I'm just going to complete this AS exam for now- and God knows if I'm going to even sit for A2 exam.

The message is clear, and I know- I might experience backlash after this, especially from some of you after reading this post, but that's how the url name of this blog came from.

The Story So Far II

"It's a norm that 98% of the boys will go for typical, pretty girls with long smashing hair". Extracted from Cal.

Yes I gotta agree with that. I mean, who in this world does not like pretty people? It goes equally to both sexes. Well, even if the term "pretty" is removed from the sentence, which would go like "It's a norm that 98% of the boys will go for typical girls with long smashing hair", I personally would think it still makes sense.

Somehow, girls with long, straight hair, finished off with a touch of highlight are more appealing. Well, in the sense that they are more attractive and more sexually appealing. It also gives a more feminine impression. Of course these are what I personally think.

But it's not necessary for all guys to treat their gf as accessories. What I can say is that, not all guys are like that.

In the society nowadays, looks do play a major and important role. I don't think one can 100% deny that. I think those who don't accept that are those who can't face the harsh reality of life in these days. Its like when 2 secretaries go for a job interview with man boss, one who's slim and pretty and the other is not so good looking, I believe the boss would choose the former one, regardless her qualifications are not as good as the latter's. After all, he's going to face her everyday at work, right? I mean, the human brain sends positive feedbacks to the body when the eye catches beautiful things, don't you think so? It kinda provide impetus for us and that's what keep us going. Applied to me, at least.


Oh, talking about looks and GF and BF and relating them together, some, if not one group of people condemn what look like a dubbed "miss-matched" couple. The only reason, I think, why this happened to them, whom I think are very happy with each other, is that the overall difference of aesthetic values between them. Don't get me wrong, I don't do that, and I wouldn't.


In fact, if looked at a different perspective, I've gotta say that that girl is one of a kind, one who does not mind the outer appearance of her bf. She's a smart girl- she knows what she's doing, she's mentally strong and I believe she chose the one who has the best inner quality, qualities that people from the outside would not be able to see.


To a specific group;
Instead of critisizing others, why not just concentrate on your own affairs and leave them alone. We don't know what's so special about him, none of us in our region knows, but it's isn't fair to judge people based on what could only be seen from the outside. It's quite difficult to type all these because you guys are my friends, but so do the ones from the other side.



As I said before, and I'm saying it again, I would prefer to keep myself in the balance between people, I prefer to be a neutral party in any case. I'm not specifically attached to certain groups of friends, and that's how I want to be.

T.G.I.F

I hadn't have quite as good as a morning like today for quite a while already.



There's no better way to start the morning than seeing someone you adore, someone you admire, and you actually walked up to them and say hi and had a little chat.


A little goes a long way. It's been tough because it's difficult enough to find some time and space to do that.


The week hasn't been very good. I constantly feel anxious for no apparent reason, nervous for nothing and blur and blunt. But a Friday like this is totally a pivotal turning point since. It just kicked off a good weekend to come!


Well, if you wonder who that person is, it's the person I've mentioned in this post. But well, the difference when I wrote that then and now is that, I decided to try and have a go at her, provided I have the opportunities of course. Even if I have the slimmest chance, then why not?

As what T.I. rap in "No Matter What", he says:

"Every obstacle
Make impossible possible
Even when winnings illogical
Losing's still far from optional"

Sepang

It just so happen that Mr Daniel Teh had some complimentary tickets to catch the F1 at Sepang on Sunday! and since he got excess tickets, he asked me to go and, why not?? It's like sum kinda once in a lifetime experience. So we- including his sister and her boyfriend- left at around 2.45pm.





Thanks to the goddamned jam we're late and we missed the missed the start of the race. Damn. But our seats are located at one of the best place, along to long stretch at the starting grid, directly across the pit stop.




Seriously, you've gotta have earplugs especially when you're sitting at the place where the cars travel at their fastest speed. It's like your eardrums will break if you don't.


Soon, the sky turned dark and lightnings constantly striking. The cars started to change to wet tyres.



And, as expected, it started to rain heavily.




Soon, red flag is waved, indicating race to be stopped until the rain recedes. Then the race would be restarted.- Or, supposedly to be like that.

BMW Sauber's Nick Heidfeld is the first who stopped along the starting grid.



Followed by Lewis Hamilton...


And others..



The safety car is soon deployed.



Then, as the rain come to a stop, as every driving got ready and into their cars, suddenly it was announced that the race will be suspended and will not be restarted- probably because it's already 6.52pm at that time, and if it does continue, it will more lilely become a night race.

In the end, Jenson Button won it by half points.
Therefore it's the end of a dramatic race and a quite dissapointing one for the spectators.

The Story So Far

Having played the GTA Vice City and San Andreas series, at last I managed to feel GTA IV today. (I know I'm kinda outdated, but hey, I'm unable to install the game in my pc because of it's ultra- high PC system requirements okay).



So since we completed our last paper for our trials today, which is Chemistry- For Bio takers there's still a paper on Monday- we went to cc. And I have to say, I immediately fell in love with it on the first time I ever played it. By far better than it's previous series.





It's such a superb game that I feel like trading in my current processor to the latest processors to support this game in my home. Damn oh damn. Why must the requirements be so damn sky high? Sigh.



Anyway, as mentioned the last paper is done, and overall I think i did OK. Personally, results for this term does NOT matter to me. Why oh why I'm studying A-levels. As I said before, I don't mind studying Physics and Chemistry. Or GP. Or even History. But why oh why I'm sitting for Maths, I don't know. I could've been studying culinary right now, I really could. Because that's the thing I enjoy most. Enginee- what? Who am I kidding?

The only thing I can do now is to get on with it untill the end of the year. After that, I might as well just fuck it, whatever the outcome is. I'm starting to feel what I have in my life right now is not what I want, and I'm not satisfied with what I have. Friends are always the best companions in life, because we're always in the same wavelength. So I really do appreciate my friends now, especially you who're reading this.

Others? Family? Are they the closest and the most important people in everyone's life? I'm really starting to doubt that. I feel questions are being raised on the inequalities at home.
I spend most of my time staring at the monitor and writing blog like this rather than with them. I think this statement contemplates exactly the the situation now.

New York New York! Deli

My friends and I were at 1u the other day and we decided to have a try at the opened not very long ago New York New York Deli on the ground floor at the New Wing.











The menu



Since I've taken my lunch earlier, I juz ordered their dessert.

"Lake Chocolate"



It's basically a few pieces of mouth-bite sized fried bananas, some strawberries and a scoop of vanilla ice-cream topped on generous amount of mildly viscous warm chocolate, with sprinkles of icing. Not bad =)


I've never seen this restaurant anywhere else before, and 1u is probably it's first around Malaysia. I kinda like it's concept. The price is around rm10-15 for appetizers and desserts, burgers are around rm20, whereas main courses are more than rm30.





Worth a try!

WFQ 9227

I think the photo says it all.




No not me. I'm not the one behind the wheel when it crashed. I'm not in the car during the accident either.




My brother and his girlfriend are fine. They somehow managed to escape from a possibly catastrophic finale with minor hand and leg injury respectively. Judging from the damage incurred on the car, most people would not have good feelings about the people inside, especially the one on the front passenger seat.

Thank God. I can't imagine what possible outcomes it could be on other days.

However, that can't being said the same to the car, because the degree of damage is so high that it's being totaled completely, and it has been written off from the streets.

Bye bye WFQ 9227.

Tagged. By Cally Cal.

1. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 15 weird things / habits / little known facts as well as state this rule clearly.
2. At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tag and list their names.
3. No tags back!



1)I'm dead afraid of cockroaches. In fact, very terrified (untill may scream) when encounter 1 anywhere. [FACT]

2)I spend more time on the computer than the TV. [FACT]

3)I sleep with 2 comforters. [HABIT]

4)...Because I sleep with the air-cond set at 16 degree Celsius while a fan is blowing towards right in front of me. [WEIRD HABIT]

5)I'm quite coffee dependent, ie if I don't drink it in the morning I may doze off to sleep in the lecture hall, especially the morning classes. [HABIT]

6)I watch EVERY Arsenal game whenever possible, including 3.45am games during weekday mornings. [HABIT]

7)I love computer games, but I don't prefer online games. [FACT]

8)I replace wore off toothbrush most frequently in my family, as the average life span of each toothbrush I use is merely 3-4 weeks. [FACT]

9)I rue the horrible mistakes I did during my first relationship. [FACT]

10)I'm a fairly choosy person. Food, clothes, music, girls. You name it. [FACT]

11)I've NEVER been on a plane before. [FACT]

12)I crave for McD. It never fail to cross my mind whenever deciding where and what to have lunch. I'm probably addicted to it. [WEIRD FACT]

13)I want and I need a car but I feel I'll never get 1 anytime soon, in which I feel I'm handicapped by that fact, in a way. [FACT]

14)I have not experience the feeling of excitement of love nor serious infatuation for quite a long while now. [FACT]

15)This thing ate up some 1 hour something or so of time. So that means I kinda find it difficult to complete. But alas! done! [FACT]


* Tagging process failed. Retrying...

Change of Directions

College life has changed. People around have changed. Perspectives have changed. Things have changed. Overall, life has changed lately.

If you look at the college life last year, and especially at the start of semester, and you look at it now, it's like a whole new world. Well not really, but certainly the way of how things go there has changed.

Unlike the start of semester, whereby everyone was excited and new, nowadays people around me has segregated into different groups of friends. I can literally point out 3 main groups of friends in my class, albeit all of us are still friends.

For me, I'm considered as part of 1 of the group, though I'm not strongly attached to them.
I think I'm more of a versatile type, and I'm happy to be one.


Gosh. Whenever I think about May, that would mean the crucial AS exam.

Chemistry? I know I can succeed IF I put arduous effort in it. But my results so far are relatively poor. This subject is in fact my favourite subject during SPM years, definately. And believe it or not, I'm quite dissapointed with the SPM Chemistry questions because I feel the amount of effort I put in in this particular subject is by far too excessive. It's like everyone score A1, you know? But now I'm facing a tough time dealing with AS Chemistry. Probably it is fair for you to say that I'm being complacent. But I know I'm capable of doing well for Chemistry.

Physics? I'm liking this subject more and more now. Although the questions are tough and requires alot of thinking, in which I'm not really good at answering the questions, but i just love the concepts of Physics. Sometimes, when you relate Physics to your life, you might find that this subject is interesting and at times, beautiful.

General Paper? Alot more work needed to be done. Although I'm confident enough to say that it's unlikely to fail this subject, I feel getting an A or even a B for GP is enormously challenging. I don't set high sights for it though, as a B or C will do nice =).

Maths? I don't even wanna mention it, to be honest. I would've seriously drop it IF and only IF I'm viable to do so. It's like I'm really giving up on it, you know? Mentally fed up, exausted, and NO interest in it AT ALL in this subject. I would've gladly substitute it with Biology, I don't mind.

It's better to be like, say, you give me a paragraph today of 20 pages and ask me to go home and memorize it. And then, tomorrow you ask me any types of questions based on the paper without me having it. I feel even Sejarah is so much better than Maths, you know?

I feel I need inspiration to do this exam, which is in a drought state at the moment. I feel quite fed up of all these. And yes, I made my decision NOT to do engineering. It's really a bad idea venturing into my weakest and darkest patch of myself, which is calculations.

Not like I'm skipping classes and all. I never skip Chemistry and Physics classes, unless I have no choice. They are my priorities, and I never lose interest in them. I want to do well for these 2 subjects, no doubt bout that.

I feel I just need some kind of push or some encouragement from certain people. I'm sorry, but I guess I have to rule out my family on doing that, because they are too busy with their own work. I guess I'm just missing that "someone" in life, if you know what I mean.



...But, to be honest, nothing but void is detected in the radar, yet.

Valentines~

Its the time of the year again. Valentines day. The roll call of some single people saying "SINGLE LIFE IS COOL!" and stuffs like that comes out again and again every year, while some parties might say it's more like S.A.D [(Single, Alone & Desperate)or Single Awareness Day] or whatever u wanna call it.

But undoubtedly, Valentines day is more like belong to couples from all ages, whether the singles like it or not.

For me, I had, lets just say a not so pleasant Valentines day 2 years ago. But 1 thing I've learned is that, it's called "break up" simply because it's broken.

CHINESE New Year!

In 1u



First of all, Happy Chinese New Year!




It's the time of the year again. To me, so far this celebration has been quite more or less similar to the previous few years. The 1st day is the busiest and the most important day, while the subsequent days are less busy and normal.



As usual, family members got together for family reunion.
For me, I don't need to "go back to hometown" because my "hometown" is just 5 minutes drive away from my house!



Niways, baby Brandon is now 6 months old.
While he's grown up a little bit, he stil not close to sitting properly, crawling, nor walking though..





Today is Thursday. Tomorrow I'm going to friend's houses to "pai nin", as planned. Oh wait! Supposedly I have class tomorrow! lol! Am I going? Nahhh.......


p/s: I would've go if and only if I've got something to look forward to there....BUT...nahhhhh..

Strucked.

It's flattering.




It's flattering to got to know someone like her.

A chance like that is always welcomed, knowing that they don't come often.

You may say that she's just an ordinary college girl, but to me she's outstanding.

"She got her own thing", put it that way, If you know what I mean.

Fair to say that all along since I've known a number of girls since college started, she's the one that really impressed me.

I like her.

No, not in the way that I'm planning to pursue her, not like that. She's occupied, fyi.

I like her for the way she are. From her first impression and her style.

...And I've got no plans to try and have a go at her.

That said, though, she crosses my mind now and then.

& I feel happy to see her, talk to her.

Yes, I concede I'm captivated.

...But I apprehend, this is all, nothing more.

For now, simple friends will do.

p/s: "she" will remain anonymous.

Yellow

I'm sorry for the long absentee. Has been kinda busy lately with various reasons.
Highlights - College restarted. And bad results. If I'd to not waste 1.5 years at college, I have to do better especially in the AS exam. And I know it. And I'm feeling abit of regret for joining A-levels science. I mean WHY??? Not like I hate science, no. In fact I fairly like it. BUT Maths IS a resounding problem. I mean, I got out of jail in SPM with 7D, and now I quite literally plunging back to hell. What the hell, man?


Other things I'm busying is preparing for Chinese New Year!, of course. Been out the whole weekend, looking for clothes and so on.


For those college people reading this, I found out that eating sausage bun with 2 spoons of pineapple fried rice from canteen 1 is a very bad idea. It just so happened that the other day I ate a sausage bun and at the same time, one of my classmate ordered pineapple fried rice(yes it's yellow in color). As I've never tried before, I took 2 spoons of those rice after eating my bun. It's alright untill few hours later. I vomitted. I was in the car with my friend, driving home when I told him to pull over, barely minutes after we got on the car. Thankfully I did not puked inside the car. He stopped at the bus stop when I immediately vomitted straight after opening the door. And yes it's yellow...


Anyway, I'm anticipating for the Chinese New Year now. Till then, thats all for now. Bye.

Bye 8. Hi 9.

So it's been another year gone by. Personally i feel the year of the rat is not the most happening year to me. For the world, of course 2008 has affected the people, particularly the election of Barack Obama & the global financial crisis.

Few highlights in 2008 are like my name "Lucas" emerged out of nowhere. Some of my secondary school mates are like, "Lum/Wing Tatt! Since when your name is Lucas??" And then I entered college. TAR College. To be honest, at first I'm kinda reluctant to become a 'tarcian' because, as everyone knows, it's a place majorly accomadated with mandarin-speaking people. I knew I would have problem communicating. But due to my so-so SPM results and the financial state of my family, I don't have many choice really, + this is only Pre-U.


In terms of family, my sister gave birth to little Brandon, which made a significant change of the way of life of my sister and her husband. Everyone in the family loves him alot, and surely there's much more to come from him in the years upcoming years.


In terms of friends, when you go to college, of course, you'll make friends, and that's what happen. I admit I'm not good at interacting with people at times, particularly when I'm verbally handicapped in which I don't receive education on the vastly used language in TARC.

Thanks for the people who celebrated my 18th birthday with me, I truly appreciate it.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone, I know I did, and I regret that.

Of course, I still keep in touch with secondary school mates, particularly during these long holidays. I believe strong chemistry do exist between people, especially when they've known each other for a long time, or doing things together, seeing and chatting with each other everyday, etc.


In terms of love life, 08 has been a quiet year. I don't have real crush or infatuation on anyone. Maybe I can't find the one, already used to being single, or probably I'm just feeling tired mentally to even build a consistent relationship with them.


In terms of academics, other than college 3rd test paper, there's nothing much important about 2008. 2009 will promise to be more crucial by a mile.




2009,
In terms of family; The focus will be based on the growth on Brendon. Other than that, things will presumably be normal and harmonic.


In terms of friends; Chemistry between them grows with time, so I do expect a better understanding with them, especially college friends.


In terms of love life; I do expect I'll stay single for another year. Leave alone capabilities, I don't meet the very minimal requirements to even have a girlfriend - (1)Car and (2)Money. Let's be realistic- I don't wanna end up in a scenario whereby she drives all the way down to MY house to fetch ME to date. Or being in a situation whereby I had to ask my dad "Dad, I need some cash to go dating!". I had to earn my own income first.


In terms of academics, as mentioned, this year promises to be such a crucial year as the AS and A2 examinations will be commenced. And this year will mark the end of my Pre-U studies.


Overall, I rate 2008 B-. Not the best year, really.
And lastly,

HAPPY NEW YEAR, PEOPLE.

All the best for 09'.